“We can‘t change our
Birth, we can change our perception
of it...“
- Jullian Gustavson, developer
of Integrative Birth Dynamics Practice
Kateřina Komorádová: Jullian, why should we be
interested in our Birth?
Jullian Gustavson: Because
to come into the body is traumatic, even shocking, so that many of us, I believe
everyone, is affected by this. What
happens to us before, during and after our Birth dramatically influences our
life including the way we grow, the way we mature and consequently how we
behave. We remain stuck attracting familiar recurring situations, so that we
don’t live our life as fully as we could. And if we find out
what affected us in our early life then we can integrate it rather than let it
rule us. Once we integrate Birth, we are free to be creative in all of life’s
transitions.
KK: I‘m asking that because in my opinion, there are more and more people
who know about the importance of birth.
JG: That may
be true, but actually very few people know-by-experience about Birth. Birth is a
taboo for many people because unconsciously people know that there may be
something ominous or foreboding there and for that reason they are not attracted
to go there and study their own Birth. Why would you want to reflect on a place
where you may have suffered pain and/or difficulty? Once some people have examined
their Birth/life, even they naturally avoid revisiting Birth. But it depends a lot
on how we adapt in life to what happened to us in Birth. Many of us (unconsciously)
adopt the ‘avoidant’ recapitulation style in which we avoid in life what reminds
us of our Birth. Or others of us (unconsciously) adopt a ‘direct’ recapitulation
style in which we re-create, again and again in our life, what happened to us. [recapitulation
means to repeat in concise form] There are other recapitulation styles that are
just as unique as our own individual Birth is unique.
KK: While reading from the document entitled “Reasons to Study Birth” by
Wm. Emerson PhD., I found it interesting the various connections between birth and
life themes that are not so well known. For example: that birth influences the
process of giving birth; or that birth can be connected with sexual abuse and
physical abuse later in life; or that the influence of our parent’s birth on
our own birth, and on our life...
JG: Yes, in
so many ways, birth is physically abusive. As babies we couldn’t say ‘no’, our
boundaries may have been violated and that might have led to unhealthy
boundaries and attracted physical abuse later on. In Birthwork, and also in
other modalities like Family Constellation work, we often find that tendencies are
likely inherited from our relatives particularly in the maternal lineage. I
believe that whatever our parents have not yet resolved about their own Birth,
we willingly take on as part of our own scenario. And our children also take on
our unresolved Birth trauma. This is yet another way that our Birth can impact us-
generationally.
KK: How do we deal with this heritage?
JG: Good
question. Very simply, the more work we do on our own Birth, the less work our kids
have to take on from us. One example comes to mind. Sometimes people want to
have a family, but for unknown reasons they don’t conceive or don’t find the
right partner. Then they do some Birthwork, the obstacles are respectfully
transformed, and people become parents. I wouldn‘t say that’s the goal of the Transitions courses, but when we do some
Birthwork, a great shift can happen in many areas. Then others don’t have to do
our work for us. Does that make sense?
KK: It seems logical. What about past lives?
JG: I prefer
to limit Birthwork to this life rather than past lives and reincarnation, we
already have so much material to work with from this life. When I speak about Birth
(with a capitol B) I mean about a two-year period. Therefore any time from before
conception to about one year after the birth (small b). During this two-year
period of Birth (capitol B) the main life themes and challenges are continually
present throughout, but they are most easily discovered and traced through the
peri-natal stages of our birth (small b). In the Transitions courses, the four stages of the actual birth (small b)
are the window through which we can begin to explore our whole Birth (capitol
B; the 2 year period) and begin to correlate our Birth experiences with the
ways we are living our lives.
The two-year period of Birth affects so much, so strongly. Basically we’ve
been permanently imprinted by our Birth, and we spend the rest of our life (avoidantly
or directly) recapitulating (concisely repeating) our Birth. We adapt,
elegantly or not, by adopting the most functional recapitulation style for us in
our life.
KK: You’ve mentioned the stages of birth. Can you say more about that?
JG: According
to this model, there are four general stages of birth (with some sub-stages) that
we refer to regularly in the Transitions
courses. There are myriad ways in which we negotiate these stages depending on
the conditions and circumstances of our Birth. Through a brief introduction to the
dynamics of birth, our natural curiosity and wonderment invites our history to
express itself. We then explore and discover the places where we may have been
challenged, but not only in a negative sense. There are many positive aspects in
Birth to be acknowledged which were not necessarily disempowering.
KK: So your point of
view is not only physical but also, lets say spiritual.
JG: Very
much so. To my way of thinking, spirituality is embodiment of the Spirit. And it‘s
essential in Birthwork to invite Spirit to come into our body and into our
awareness as much as we can in order to integrate our wholeness. Spirit can be anywhere
in the body - around, partially or totally out of the body - or concentrated in
certain areas of the body/field, for example in the chakra system. During the (spiritual)
process of integration it is crucial to be well resourced, to help keep us (out
of shock) and in the body. Inner resources like awareness of breath and
physical sensations are best. The more we sense our body - the more physically present
we can be - the better we can learn to integrate the dynamics and the
consequences of our Birth. Yes, I believe integration
is the key word and it has everything to do with our spirituality.
KK: So, Transitions works with Birth
and finding the connection between our Birth and how we react to similar
situations in our life?
JG: Yes. One
of the main reasons why our birth is traumatic is because it is a first-time
experience, and that is very challenging for everyone of any age. It’s an important
aspect of our birth because we are also most helpless and vulnerable then, and we
must confront many, many things we have never faced before. Yes, it can be
traumatic and/or shocking, but the good news is that trauma can also be
empowering given the right conditions. It forms and shapes our character. We
can’t change our Birth, but we can change
our perception of it, learn to appreciate it and integrate it.
For the most part, we participants of Transitions will continue to behave in similar ways we have
developed as a pattern, but our attitude toward the pattern changes. We learn
to take responsibility for our Birth and to embrace
all aspects of it. This is also the only way that we can change what has
happened to us: to learn to accept it. And in Transitions we work with ‘the four steps of change’.
KK: What are these four
steps?
JG: The First
step is to name what has
happened, the reality. And that is the most basic step because many of us are
not aware of anything that has affected us during our Birth. Others of us may know
some things that are true about our Births. Naming things on the intake form
can be an initiation into the field of Transitions
Birthwork.
Second step is quite big: to claim it as mine, claim responsibility for it and own it. Once we
own something and take responsibility for it we can start to see how it is
affecting everything in our life and other people in our life, as well. We
start to get a bigger view of it because we are willing to look at it, and take it upon ourselves.
Third step is huge: embrace
it. We take this wounded part of us to our hearts and learn to love this part
of ourselves- to take to our heart everything that we went through during our Birth.
We learn compassion for ourselves and for others that were there with us- our
mothers for example. Birth can be traumatic for them too, among many others who
were present, or not during our Birth.
Once we learn to embrace that which is an important part of who we are,
we learn to properly love this wounded soulful entity- me. Then we naturally start
to share our self love and compassion with others. That is one result that I
see from Transitions courses: People
that continue in Transitions tend to become service oriented and very involved
in helping others.
KK: And what is the
fourth step?
It‘s acceptance. So it‘s mainly
a three-step-process with a fourth step being the result: acceptance. Nothing changes without acceptance. Once we have
taken these three other steps, acceptance becomes a nice daily Practice and then
change becomes imminent. And change is vital to our personal growth and
development.
KK: By speaking with
others about a trauma-healing, I often hear that it is needed to ”let it go” -
don’t take it onto us, don’t identify with it. You don’t speak about this. A few
months ago when facing deep pain from separation with my partner, a friend of
mine made an interesting and important statement: “This deep wound in your
heart will never disappear. The only thing you can do with it is to accept that
it exists. To take it inside to your heart.” It sounds to me similar as what
you are saying.
JG: Yes, and
it is beautiful what you’ve just said, taking it to heart. Herein lies the key:
Healing only happens in Relationship. To come into intimate relationship with trauma
and put it into context, we must be very well resourced, otherwise we can
reactivate what we call ‘shock’. There are subtle yet profound differences
between trauma and shock, so the way we treat them is different too. We can’t
integrate anything into our system if shock is present. So we slow things down
and don’t allow things to go too fast. Often we must stop the process altogether
because to go on in a state of shock doesn’t make sense.
But with trauma, some of our life energy can be blocked, especially on
the physical and emotional levels. So by working with trauma in a resourced
way, a blockage can be released in the right time and place, in safe containment.
First we become aware of it and then we can work with it carefully from the
edges. But again it is important to become and remain well resourced: Use our
breath, stay in the body and use the awareness of the sensations in our body
objectively, with equanimity.
KK: Jullian, what led
you to this kind of work?
(long silence after which we discuss how much to share, big theme for
Jullian in our interview)
JG: My first
contact with Birthwork had to do with becoming a parent myself. I went to a
therapist who suggested that I join a professional Pre & Peri-natal Trauma
training in which I would study my own birth. When I started to attend those seminars,
I became aware that I was carrying a lot of shock from my parents. My mother is
an orphan and my father is highly traumatized from World War II, and they hadn’t
yet resolved many issues in their lives. As a prenate, I took much of my
parents’ unresolved issues (shock) into my own system and made them my own.
That’s what prenates and babies do best. Realizing this was an epiphany for me,
but that is only one aspect of a whole new world that Birthwork opened up for
me. The more that I Practice Integrating the Dynamics of my Birth, the more whole
I become. In a nutshell, that is Integrative Birth Dynamics Practice.
Our tip:
JG: In the Transitions Experience we do not employ hypnosis
or any other induction techniques. There are brief presentations about birth dynamics
and by evaluating our craniums and body postures we discover how we may have
been positioned in the womb. This can activate our cellular memories** which in
turn helps to inform the exploration of our Birth.
In May 2015 there is the opportunity to know-by-experience this
transformative work. Come to Maitrea and reclaim another piece of our Life’s
mandala, our wholeness.
Kateřina
Komorádová
for Magazine MAITREA, 2014
